1. |
Amen Amen
02:54
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Amen, amen, are you a friend or are you a lover?
When we don’t talk to each other I get tired again
You said I don’t feel like you have understood a thing
I’ve said all day; I said I think I did but I just move too fast
And I got into my car and sat there in the quiet
True lovers, true lovers, true lovers, they don’t fight
I thought when I found someone it would be easy like Sunday morning
Now I know that nothing’s easy, nothing’s easy but Sunday morning
I live in your house, I sleep in that bed
And now that I’ve arrived here
I want to stay there till I’m dead
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2. |
Baby Wanting
02:14
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"What are you going to do with all that baby wanting?" you said.
"Maybe you can get it out when you go and see the newborn twins."
And now I’m sitting on the plane stewing in my baby wanting
Thinking how it first came over me in 2011
Maren was born, much to the shock of my mother
And I walked in by her crib where she slept breathing, silent, fast
And now I feel this kinship with everyone who has a baby
Total strangers, who probably call on God and the only thing they ask
is to be free of girls like me and our baby wanting
What am I going to do with all this baby wanting?
Do I think I could go through childbirth? I can’t survive my monthly cramps
And yes, I do cry consistently whenever I’m watching Call the Midwife
And maybe I desperately want children, or maybe I’m very sentimental
And I don’t mean to say that I think having children is easy, or not exhausting
And that has been my experience, especially with other people’s kids
And also with Maren, who, granted, means more to me than most people and most things
Because Maren taught me about shock and wonder and how overwhelming love can be and how I can love a person more than anything in the world
And that’s the feeling there that feeds my baby wanting
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3. |
Mrs. Arnolfini
01:58
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My lover, yoked in furs,
choked in feathers. I have learned,
I’ve inferred: he’s not for you, he is for me
I stand, hand outstretched,
ropes of metal around my neck
I’ve been led to expect he is for me
We’re here with our dog
He and the painter are talking shop
Hope he catches the fall of the cloth,
the shade of green
My lover, here with me
One hand blessing, one outreached
I can see: he is for me, he is for me
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4. |
I Get the Feeling
03:58
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I get the feeling you don’t know
I know it’s hard for you to see
I’m going to say it clear and slow
You oughta stick it out with me
If we keep trying like we are
If we keep loving like we do
No reason we should be apart
I don’t have plans for leaving you
I know that leaving’s not a plan
No lover ever plans to leave
I hope that’s not the way I am
But you know that just by knowing me
So if you wake up in the night
From dreams of dogs or women lost
Hey I’ll be sleeping by your side
Some girl who tries to treat you soft
I know my sweet’s not always sweet
I know my kind’s not always good
If there's a place where we can meet
I mean, I think we can, we should
So if I haven’t made it clear
I'm gonna try and make it true
I gotta say it while you’re here
I’m want to stick it out with you
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5. |
Marianne
00:59
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Marianne and a man
hand in hand with frangipane
and amaranth, can you stand it?
all the things that I demanded
I was there, where you were
threw my hair, not scared of her
Should I have been? I had no reason
To everything there is a season
What you want, when you want it
Sought it then, well now you’ve got it
Seeking isn’t having, holding
All that glitters isn’t golden
Now I’m here, in your house
Take a breath, don’t throw me out
You’re sad I’m not a debutante, it
isn’t everything you wanted
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6. |
Dread
02:23
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One time when Maren was four
we were watching this cheesy version of the Little Prince and
in this version there’s a girl about her age,
she is school-aged, she is maybe 5,
and she has this really particular mother.
The mom is a business woman.
The mom has a lot of plans for her daughter.
Her daughter has a rigorous schedule
and never time for friends. And there is this part where the daughter, against her mother’s wishes,
is going to hang out with this old man who lives next door
who’s become her de facto friend,
And Maren, afraid, looked in the yard at the girl
playing with an old airplane and said
“I’m feeling worried. I’m worried about the Sweetie.
What will her mom say when she gets home? I’m scared."
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7. |
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You think you can just take on the car
Say my driving is bad I can’t get us to home
And you’re outside the wheel with your head on the gear shift
You think you can turn this whole ship around
And like some whale that's beaching you’re kissing the ground
And like any good sailor, you’re glad to be back on the land
I haven’t been through any of that
I haven’t been through any of that
You think you’ll make your bed on the couch
And like any good mother, my foot in my mouth
While you get out the blankets the pillows the linen the sheets
I haven’t been through any of that
I haven’t been through any of that
I get sad when I’m getting to bed
Do I want what I’m picking, and where I’ve been led
and I do think about it, I do think about what I want
I haven’t been through any of that
I haven’t been through any of that
Now we’re coming home, think of walking away
though i shouldn't, I do, in the heat of the day
And I do think about it, I do wonder just what i want
And sometimes I’m with you but mostly I’m not
with a part of my mind on the seat of my god
And you can sit in heaven and feel like you’re not understood
I haven’t been through any of that
I haven’t been through any of that
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8. |
Traipsing
04:30
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I go traipsing in the mountains for a sliver of your love
I go traipsing in the mountains for a sliver of your love
I go traipsing in the mountains for a sliver of your love
But it turns out out your love was in our living room
it turns out out your love was in our living room
I go traipsing in the mountains for a sliver of your love
I go traipsing in the mountains for a sliver of your love
But it turns out out your love was in our living room
it turns out out your love was in our living room
I want to be here with you
I want to be here with you
I want to be here with you
I go sailing on the ocean for a seashell of your love
I go sailing on the ocean for a seashell of your love
I go sailing on the ocean for a seashell of your love
But it turns out your love in the bathtub waiting when I come home
Love is in the bathtub waiting for me when I come home
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9. |
Little Lonely Habits
04:25
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I’m all ungrounded
Turn me around and
All of my little lonely habits turn into sins
I wake up early
You can’t deter me
I can’t get out and
I can’t stay in
When I was lonely
Single and homely
No one to comment
on how I behaved
Honey, I love you
Want to be near you
It's by the contrast
I know my name
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10. |
Game Show
04:18
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If I have the questions
and you have the answers
And if this is a game show
you’re gonna win
But it isn’t a game show
We’re just sitting on couches
Saying things that need saying
And I’m caving in
And it’s not about Christmas
It might be about family
I don't know if they'll love me
outside the Church
But it is about timing
And I guess about talking
And I guess about symbols
and how they hurt
You don’t know I love you
I can tell you don't feel it
And then when you do feel it
It's a surprise
I mean all day I’m reaching
All day long I’ve been reaching
And at night can I hold you?
and look in your eyes?
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11. |
But You Might Rise
09:08
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I’m not easy to live near
Not easy to live in
Hey baby, you’re not going to lose next to me
But you’re sure not gonna win
What do you call it? 7th inning? What number in the game?
You think I don’t know you, do I know your name
I’ve got things to say, but I don’t say em
I have words to tell but I keep em straight down in body
Here I go singing them again
some people think I know what I’m doing, think again
I’m living in a dream, looking out my eyeballs at a screen
I touch you and make you want to scream
I do not dread the day in the morning
I wake up as naive as when I’m born
I do not dread the night in the evening
I dread the life I live when I’m alone
You think that you might be my weakness
Oh I can tell you you’re not that, my weakness is me
I take you in to siphon out the silence
I feel free, I’m not free
I’m not saying that it’s harder or it’s easy
Only saying that from this side it gets sad
They tell me that no man can be an island
By that logic, do you think you are my man
By that logic, can you really be my man?
Thanks, come again when you think you’ll hold me
Thanks, come again when your love is mine
it isn’t hard, it isn’t easy, it’s being human,
Part of being human’s thinking that you’re doing it the first time
You’re not doing it the first time
Give a big sigh little girl, you don’t want to be here anymore
Give a big cry little girl you don’t have to if you don’t want to
You’ve got teeth in your mouth,
You’ve got blood in your eyes
You’re not a bit of bread dough
But you might rise
You’re not a little bird in the sky
But you might rise
You’re not a bit of bread dough
But you might rise
You’re not a baby bird
But you might rise
Nobody’s planting you down in the ground
Big surprise
You’re not a little seed, growing up, no
But you might rise
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Emily Brown Oakland, California
Emily Brown is a Californian songwriter and poet. Her impressive vocal range, wandering melodies, and conversational lyrical style have drawn frequent comparisons to Joni Mitchell, Judee Sill, and Fiona Apple.
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